I Love Tiffany

Came across the latest ad from Tiffany&Co this morning. Like all Tiffany ads, it’s beautiful. And the song is amazing!


Yes! J will be 2 next week! A toddler officially!

It’s been a long, rather arduous journey though. The first year was tough, with me battling postnatal depression and dealing with my hubby being away. The second year was a little better, though the second half wasn’t that great due to my struggle with nerve damage. I’m sort of resigned to the possibility that this neuropathy will be lifelong.

Oh, and remember my fear that J was autistic? Well, she isn’t so timid now and she is talking a lot so I guess my fears were unfounded. Thank God for that.

…since nothing major or important has happened in my life. I’m still experiencing pain although strangely, it has moved from the extraction site down to my bottom middle teeth. I told my OS a few weeks back and he felt that since I have been in pain for months, my brain is sending pain signals which no longer exist. Some neuro-plasticity theory. It’s really scary and disturbing.

At my last visit, my OS was rather optimistic that I would make a complete recovery. I don’t want to be too hopeful though.

It’s December!

The most wonderful time of the year! I’ve always loved December. This year, not so though. No prizes for guessing why.

I’ve been living with neuropathic pain for a little more than 4 months now. I’m down to 10mg Nortriptyline every two days and will wean off completely next week. Sometimes I feel like I’m getting better but the “getting better” days always last just 2-3 days, followed by 2-3 days where the pain reverts to its awful level. And the cycle repeats again.

I know I’m in this for the long haul so I try to live my life as positively as I can. That’s saying a lot because I’m generally NOT a positive person. I also don’t sweat the small stuff anymore. I used to hit the roof whenever things didn’t go my way or I got stuck in a queue or encountered rude staff etc. Now, I just let it go.

I’m not sure if I will be able to return to work though. I wanted to so much but now that I have this injury, I don’t know if it is viable anymore.

…wean off meds these past few weeks. Nortriptyline hasn’t been helping much recently and the side effects of anticonvulsants have been too much for me.

I’m hoping to live my life med-free as much as possible.

My OS seems less and less confident that I will make a complete recovery each time I see him. It’s rather upsetting.

Right now I’m just trying to keep myself as busy as I can to distract myself from the pain. I try my darndest to be positive too but very often, the thought of living with chronic pain for the rest of my life just brings me to tears, like now.

…my OS for a review. Unfortunately, Nortriptyline had failed to control my pain adequately the past week. He put me on 150mg Pregabalin (Lyrica)/day to be built up to 300mg/day over the next week. I was warned that like Tegretol, I would be “loopy”.

So I went home and bravely popped one pill before bedtime. Within one hour, the pain disappeared like magic. However, I was hit hard by dizziness. Whenever I walked, I felt the ground tilt and sway. Because of the vertigo, I was nauseous as well. Lyrica definitely works faster than Tegretol, but the side effects? The same.

I called my OS the next morning and told him I couldn’t function on Lyrica. I had no desire to try it for a week to see if the side effects would subside. So now, I’m still on Nortriptyline. The pain seems less today compared to last week… or maybe it’s just a good day. :/

…my hubby returned and to my surprise and relief, J took to him quickly. He is her favourite person in the whole world now. She loves him so much she doesn’t let him out of her sight, demands to be held constantly and wants him and no one else to put her to bed.

For the first few days, hubby was delighted. Then, he started getting tired of her sheer clinginess. I’m sort of glad she is clingy to him though. It’s his turn to experience what I endured for 17 months and to finally realise that parenting is in no way easy.

In the meantime, I’m enjoying this reprieve. Once hubby returns to work, it’s me and baby all over again.